Man, I just hate lawyers. That Shakespeare guy was really onto something when he stated, "first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
Why was I talking to a lawyer? For Lauren and her pre-nup, naturally. I took it upon myself to assure she gets custody of the pups and future canine support (pupalimony) in case anything should happen.
Just kidding.
It's a long and convoluted story, but my interaction with this lawyer was a bunch of crap. She isn't even the lawyer we hired; she's his "boss." I was complaining about my lawyer's lack of attention. She clearly knows nothing about customer service and she made a lot of grunting sounds, (sarcastically), "um, hummmm". Who uses sounds like that? Especially a professional?
Well, I looked her up, and I will tell you who grunts at clients who have paid for their services. Gross, homely, ugly sweatered, overweight women with bad hair. I then did some research on attorney attitudes, and found an interesting article that explained if an attorney already has a personality flaw, becoming an attorney will only exacerbate it because they are granted power.
So, clearly this attorney is on the crazy train because she is a social degenerate who can't get a date.
Disclaimer: My precious, perfect first-born is currently enrolled in a college at a University that is specifically designed for pre-law students. But I know if she chooses to become a lawyer, she will never be gross and wear ugly sweaters.

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