Jaime's back, tell a friend

Well, it's been awhile and I bet all you dedicated readers thought my blog had gone the way of the electric typewriter. Wrong! Bitches, I'm back!

So, I have been seriously neglectful and now find myself behind the eight ball when it comes to memorializing Jesse and Lauren's wedding...which by the way, is like six weeks away.

I know they had a shower this weekend. I know not because I was invited, but because I read about it on facebook. I did, however, receive my lovely wedding invite last week. I just have to RSVP. I'm putting it off because I don't know if Kylee will be ready for her debut into Dodge society.

I also can't believe that this summer is technically over anyway. My place of employment is featuring "Back to School" products and the new fall lines are coming in tomorrow. I guess in some way, the Phat wedding will be an end of the summer bash. Seriously, if there was ever a wedding theme begging to be used, that's it.

jbnswahwolvhbola23hgfahufxpximkxxik--love Kylee

It's been a while since I blogged.  Not because I have given up on my fair couple or anything...it's more about time and the things I have wanted to get done around the house.  Plus, my first born was home for spring break and so I was busy with her.

Anyway, I hate my house, but am resigned to living here.  I live in a suburb where you don't get much bang for your buck.  Anyway, in an attempt to make things better, I have been doing small home improvement projects.  This isn't easy for me because I am insanely lazy when it comes to doing things for myself.  But I love HGTV and it makes everything look kind of easy and so I started with painting my basement.

We spend oodles of time down there because of Kylee.  The room is a combination playroom/den/office and so I had to choose a color that would be okay for all three spaces.  Like, I didn't want the den to be pink, you know what I'm sayin'?

After many swatches and debates, I chose a color called Sycamore.  It's a shade of green that reads almost neutral, depending on the time of day.  I painted the whole room and was quite smug about it when I was done.

(It's worth mentioning here that I asked Lauren several times if she knew how to paint.  And also if she knew how to refinish wood floors.  She never really answered me.)

I have also ordered some art and am contemplating what shelves to buy...did I mention I am also indecisive?  I am, especially when it comes to things for my house. In fact, tonight I made an impulse buy, and have already tried to cancel the order.  It was a rug, and I don't think I want it anymore.  Too much like the one I already have.

But, back to our couple...

First of all, Jesse blogged.  I can't believe he said it, but he doesn't like Bravo.  Seriously, wtf.  Who doesn't love Bravo?  It airs all my favorite shows.  It's sacrilege that he wants the network headquarters turned into a parking lot.  Now, I ain't suggesting that war bond isn't enticement.  But come on.  What would I do without Top Chef?

Secondly, Lauren posted her recipes for buffalo chicken sandwiches and dip.  I told her I had made the required purchases and was about to make the dip.  She then told me I would have crazy nightmares if I ate it. 

Jaime nine months ago

This month will mark my ninth month of life in Lauren's circle. Yes, I have always kind of known her, but actually being in her world has only gone on for about as long as it takes to bake a baby.

Nine months ago I was a stay-at-home-mom, or as Lauren says, a SAHM. I was preparing to send my oldest child off to college out east, with a two month stay at my sister's house on the way.  Graduation was over and my years rearing her had turned out pretty successfully.

It was a long and hot summer. I spent my nights and weekends delivering furniture and doing window displays. I thought about painting a room or two in the house, but I had no ambition and my husband had no job. It seemed like we ate rice/ramen/egg noodles all summer and did nothing, as we were subsisting on unemployment and the Northwest severance package.

We also had no disposable income for anything fun.  Shopping?  No.  Zoo trips?  No.  Restaurants?  No.  A walk to the neighborhood park that is kind of creepy?  Yes!

Then, Lauren got engaged.  To Jesse.  And she launched her wedding blog.  I read it and instantly thought it was entertaining and fun.  And since I had no money, was semi-depressed from my oldest daughter leaving the nest, and bored out of my mind, I started my companion blog!  I didn't even ask Lauren for permission.  She just woke up to it.

So, when Lauren and Jesse tie the knot and their wedding blog self-destructs, I am going to have to find another engaged to couple to stalk.  I think I will start trolling for one tonight.

Ick-ea

A new bride needs to furnish her home, right?  What I love about Lauren is she is clever and thrifty.  She looks for a bargain and can see the beauty in crap.  She never turns down a good deal, and even if she never uses that 8-track player or VCR, she's content knowing she got 'em for a steal.

I, on the other hand, have a hard time envisioning how an orange ceramic elephant might look in my home, or what I could do to it to make it fit my decor.  Which is kind of strange because I take pride in having good taste and am fairly adept at decorating my house.  I guess I just like to have things home ready.  I don't really want to have to build it, make it, paint it, create it or assemble it.

On that note, can I just take a moment here to say, I hate Ikea.

I tend to do all my shopping at the same stores, mainly because I get a discount.  I love Pottery Barn, Pottery Barn Kids, West Elm, Williams-Sonoma and Hold Everything.  I have an affinity for Restoration Hardware, especially their stocking stuffer bar at Christmas time.  Such strange and unique tchotchkes.  I also really like Target.  I'm not green, but I like that all of PBK's furniture is built with wood from sustainable forests.  I love that PB delivers most bigger items to your house, and assembles said pieces and takes away the packaging. 

On that note, I am not a fan of Ikea.

I also like Home Goods and TJ Maxx and more, although I don't get to either place very often.  But I can usually find a cute frame or something there.  I also can pretty much assume that if I buy a rug or chair there, no one else is going to own that rug or chair within a 300 mile radius.  The stuff is so random, and they usually only get one of a big ticket item in.  For instance, today I saw a weird hot pink and tan chair there, and it was a lone wolf, sitting all by itself.

On that note, I think I know why so much of Ikea's stuff is crap.  Anything that mass-produced has got to have a bad egg in there somewhere, and this weekend, we had not one, not two, but three bad eggs in the form of a tv console.

It was great while it lasted

Well.

I should have appreciated it more.  I should have loved it more.  I should have known it was fleeting.  That 80's heavy metal hair band sure knew what they were talking about when they sang, "don't know what you got, 'til it's gone"...

What am I lamenting you ask?

Tonight I came home from work, made a grilled cheese sandwich, and decided to catch up on my facebooking/emailing/browsing since I had the use of my husband's laptop.  The Mac is stilll down, mainly because we can't make a decision on whether to fix it or replace it.  And it is just too hard to do a lot of on-line stuff on my phone during the day with my big man hands.

Oh wait a second, let me go back a bit.

Today Lauren and I spoke.  On the phone.  That's right my friends.  She and I have officially entered into the bizarro world.  (A Seinfeld reference, for those of you who are hip enough to watch that show.)  We have always been careful not to cross that line.  You know, the line where actual human contact is involved.  We kind of assumed it would be weird and we would end up spending a lot of time together and then start to neglect our dogs and men, and also, in my case, children.  Well I guess she could neglect her nanny child.  (And then have someone write about her on that blog I Saw Your Nanny.  By the way, wtf?  What is that about?  I looked at it today and it is scary city.  Just a bunch of anonymous people posting snippets of random nannies neglecting children...)   Anyway, we were talking about a top secret project and I slayed her with my humor and quick wit, and then she lost her connection/hung up on me or something...blah, blah, blah...it didn't matter that much because I had someone coming over and had to get off the phone anyway.  The point is, we were chatting away like there was no tomorrow.  We were laughing.  Bonding.  Sharing.  Conspiring.

So, imagine my horror when I went to the Phat Farm site tonight to read about Lo's diet, and discovered that...MBFCW's tab has been removed.  It's back on the side with all those other blogs. 

RIP MBFFW

I have spent the past several days thinking.  And eating.  And watching a lot of TV.  But mostly, I have been thinking.

I am thinking about how I can monetize Lauren's blog.  And yes, I think I just invented a new verb.

Because I know my audience is directly a result of Lauren's blog, and I also know this blog will self-destruct the moment Jesse and Lauren say "I do," the first task at hand is to find a new subject for Lauren to blog about.  Then I can revamp this blog to echo her new blog.

This is where things get crazy.  Let's discuss some ideas.  In what format, you ask?  Bullet points!  Duh!

• Young Apartment Ambivalence--there are so many blogs out there going on and on about how terrific it is to renovate and decorate your home.  Lauren's could be more in the vein of, "ok, I did this, here is how it looks, it wasn't that fun and it cost me an arm and a leg..."
• Nanny 101--Lauren could do little tutorials on childcare.  Just last night, when I told her Kylee was a real pill at the MOA, she suggested we could sell her.  Now if Lauren could just perfect an English accent, ala Mary Poppins or Jo from that nanny show...
• The Wonder Year...a blog chronicling her and Jesse's first year of marriage.  I think this is a good one and has the most potential of securing advertisers.  She could test out kitchen products, gadgets for homes, visit restaurants, etc.  The possibilities are endless!

Guest Blogger: Bride of Chuckie Invasion

Has anyone seen the movie The King of Kong: a Fistful of Quarters?  Yeah, didn't think so.  It's a documentary about a laid-off science teacher who buys a Donkey Kong machine and becomes really good at the game and sets the world record.  Please don't ask why I have seen this movie, or why I believe I own this movie and it's in the basement of my house.  But do ask why that science teacher decided to spend his money on an arcade machine and then spend all his time mastering the game instead of looking for a job.

Anyway, that intro is just about me being able to say it's on like Donkey Kong.  What's on like Donkey Kong?  MBFCW's first guest blogger, that's what!  Thanks Lauren.

this is obviously a picture of Lauren

     Today Jesse and I made our inagural trip to Aldi.  For all you grocery shopping novices, Aldi is a discount grocery store.  I was initially beyond pissed that they dared ask me to insert a quarter to "release" a shopping cart.  I even told Jesse to go back to the car, drive home to Minnetonka, return with a laundry basket, and then follow me around the store as I shopped.  He declined, and so I made like a freak at Machine Shed and gave up the quarter.

     I was amazed at the assortment, but was skeptical of the "off" brands.  What I mean by "off" is my pizza rolls did not say "Totino's," but instead said "Italian-4-me-and-U."  Jesse and I trudged on though, and were quickly swayed by the cheaper prices.  As the signs say, "No looking for sales!"

     I also noticed that they are big on the money saving tip by having limited staffing.  That's more money in my pocket!  I bagged my own groceries, and then paid a paltry amount for some grocery bags.  (Again, if Jesse had gotten the laundry basket, we could have saved money and not bought the bags...)  And I came to realize that the whole quarter thing is an initiative to return the cart to it's original place, as YOU GET THE QUARTER BACK once that's done.  It saves on having to have a cart boy!

     And Gertie, the oldest employee at my Aldi, also told us that there are "special buys" that come around every so often.  She said, "while they last.  Get there fast" because I guess it's all snooze-you-lose, but that's also part of the Aldi tradition--surprises!  You never know what you might find!

     Also, while checking out, I noticed that Aldi does not accept credit cards, but they are working on that.  And they also offer what's called a "double guarantee."  This means that if you don't LOVE what you buy, Aldi will replace the item, (even though you didn't love it in the first place), and refund your money!  Score.

Lauren lives in Minnetonka, Minnesota with her fiance Jesse and their dogs, Honey Crisp and Jagger.  When Lauren is not blogging, you can find her facebook bossing-around-people, nannying it up in Uptown, and reminiscing about the good ole' days she spent as the Dairy Princess.  To read more of her musings, check out her blog.

List

I think Lauren misses me.

Seriously, who wouldn't?

This is the first time I have had to blog in days.  It's Sunday, and I have a ton of errands to run, but I thought I would do this first.

So, let's look at what I have to do today, in my most favorite format ever, bullet points!

• buy groceries at Target.  I am really hoping I can do this without Kylee's assistance
• laundry.  This is so on-going that it isn't really worth listing
• drop four bags off at Jesse and Lauren's ARC
• buy cute salt and pepper shakers at West Elm
• buy some containers at the Container Store

It doesn't seem like that big of a list, but trust me, it will take all day.  And I have to fit a nap in there somewhere also.

Anyway, back to Lo and Jesse.  I am still working on my blog for Phat Farm.  (Remember, I have been asked to "guest blog"!)  It's almost done, but like I said, I have been super busy and haven't had a ton of time.  Oh, and the Mac is down, and I think we might have to throw the in the towel and go buy a new one...add that to the list:

• cruise by the Apple store

Pre-nup

Man, I just hate lawyers.  That Shakespeare guy was really onto something when he stated, "first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

Why was I talking to a lawyer?  For Lauren and her pre-nup, naturally.  I took it upon myself to assure she gets custody of the pups and future canine support (pupalimony) in case anything should happen.

Just kidding.

It's a long and convoluted story, but my interaction with this lawyer was a bunch of crap.  She isn't even the lawyer we hired; she's his "boss."  I was complaining about my lawyer's lack of attention.  She clearly knows nothing about customer service and she made a lot of grunting sounds, (sarcastically), "um, hummmm".  Who uses sounds like that?  Especially a professional?

Well, I looked her up, and I will tell you who grunts at clients who have paid for their services.  Gross, homely, ugly sweatered, overweight women with bad hair.  I then did some research on attorney attitudes, and found an interesting article that explained if an attorney already has a personality flaw, becoming an attorney will only exacerbate it because they are granted power.

So, clearly this attorney is on the crazy train because she is a social degenerate who can't get a date.

Disclaimer:  My precious, perfect first-born is currently enrolled in a college at a University that is specifically designed for pre-law students.  But I know if she chooses to become a lawyer, she will never be gross and wear ugly sweaters.

I want Jesse

Lauren just asked me to be a "guest blogger" on her blog.

Now, I ask you, why would I blog on her blog when I author my own companion blog to her blog?  Could it be she needs filler for her blog and so in her desperate attempt to parlay information on her blog, she has reached out to me?  Plus, my blog has its own tab on her blog.

And, can I also add that I have nothing to blog about?  Lo and Jesse give me exactly zero information to use.  Yeah, she dragged him into my store, and now she's all threatened by the uber chemistry Jesse and I shared, but beyond that, they haven't given me much.

So, let's discuss a wedding topic we haven't yet covered.

Hairstyles.

I'm not sure what Lauren has planned for her hair on the big day.  Although given her penchant for the non-traditional and the fact that the wedding is taking place on a farm leads me to believe she might do something very casual and informal.  Which I actually think would be awesome and refreshing considering most brides today do severe up do's with tight curls.  I did suggest a nice side braid, flowing loosely over her shoulder--an idea immediately shot down by Lauren.

My own wedding hairstyle was awful.  The woman had no experience with my hair, and so during the trial run I tried to explain to her what I wanted.  I don't think she listened.  At all.  Because I ended up looking like Marlo Thomas in That Girl.  Or Mary Tyler Moore when she was on the Dick Van Dyke show.  It looks okay in some pictures, but mostly it just looks stiff and weird.  And retro.

so accurate it's scary

Also, on the way to the salon, some charged-up grandma who had been sitting on her deck, (smoking, I'm sure) blocked us from leaving our driveway.  She was in her four door sedan, and said that she had just witnessed my (now) husband speeding down the road and she wasn't having it, as apparently she owned the island and really hated us tourists.  I responded by getting out of our car and telling her that "us tourists" provided "her" island with an economy, which in turn enabled her to live there year-round.  Anyway, she chased me back to my car, and I arrived at the hair salon late, (so I couldn't get my nails done), and flustered.

Maybe to the dress

Our bride's wedding dress is in!  And she is pissed!

As with the rest of her non-traditional wedding plans, her reaction to the call that her dress was ready and waiting was just as unexpected.

For the record, when I got the word that my dress had arrived, I was insanely excited.  I booked my first fitting right there on the phone.  Wild horses couldn't have kept me away!  I took my cousins to my last fitting, and my friend who does visual design for Marshall Fields Macy's showed up also, as he was in the store, working.  And he said my dress had just the right drape, as I seductively turned and looked back at him...

Anyway, Lauren is mad that a) the salon has dared to call her more than once, b) she has been given only fourteen days to pick up her dress, and c) she is pasty white right now, as it's the middle of winter in Minnesota and Jesse has not taken her any place warm and sunny.

Another sidenote:  take it from someone who knows, if you buy something, don't leave it at the store any longer than you have to.  If the store says it's ready, go get it.  Do you know what goes down in stockrooms and back hallways?  No.  But if I purchased a $400 desk, I would not want it hanging around, getting banged up by every person who walked by it, or people sitting on it, chatting about last night at the bar.  Just sayin'.

So, I don't know when the dress will be picked up, as Lauren said to me the other day, "oh yeah, what are they gonna do?  Give it away?"  Her tone was very confrontational, as if she was actually daring the salon to give her dress away.

SWF

Imagine my surprise last night when my my co-worker told me I had "visitors."

I always shudder when I hear that people are in the store wanting to see me.  Scot and Kylee only come by during planned and carefully timed craft events that typically occur on Saturday mornings, and all of my other friends work at the store with me.  So, if there's a random visitor, it means worlds are about to collide because it's someone from SE MN and not from my Edina circle.

And who was it, you ask?

Why, it was our fair bride, sans make-up, and her betrothed.

Apparently Lauren and Jesse were out, looking at stuff to register for at PB.  She immediately complained to me about the customer service at PB, and I just thought,  I don't work over there.  I work here.  I also suggested to her that her lack of make-up, Ugg boots, and big puffy winter coat may have screamed, I am not your traditional customer, I am ghetto.

Lauren then asked me about some patterns for china, talked to me about the inferiority of Big Bowl chinese food vs. Pei Wei, and casually mentioned they were heading to Crate and Barrel to presumably register for bigger and better things than my company has to offer.

Now, I have never met Jesse, and I must say, he is pleasant, sportily dressed, and clearly enamored with my quick wit.  I liked him.  I am actually scared to admit this, as Lauren threatened me later during a chat, "you want him, don't you?  Keep your hands off my man."

Casa Jerle

I hate to revisit the whole it's-winter-and-I'm-depressed-and-have-no-ambition thing, but it's so true.  I am experiencing serious deficiencies in my creative writing skills, and so you, my four blog followers, are suffering, I'm sure.  And poor Lauren.  She too needs inspiration.

Since I was dumped as the Phat wedding planner, I am moving on to bigger and better things.  I hereby formally announce that I am Lo and Jesse's new designer specialist.  Together, Lo and I will be planning, thrifting, and re-doing Casa Jerle.  (Or Chateau Jerle, for any of you Centerites who recall the pretentious naming of a small rambler on Old Highway 14, clearly signed Chateau (insert surname here, deliberately left out to protect their identities) on their garage door.)  And we will be doing it on a dime.

I came up with this grand scheme plan after Lauren turned me on to a house remodeling blog.  I have spent an inexplicable amount of time on it this past week, and I admit, it has inspired me to move re-do some things around here.  But since I always do things to the nth degree, we will start with the Minnetonka hideaway first.

Bonnie

Bonnie

Kylee

Still hanging out with Toy Story 3.  And my sensitive baby always gets sentimental at the end, when Andy is giving his toys away to Bonnie.  Scot says it's because Kylee looks like Bonnie and therefore personalizes it and really feels the moment.  Doubtful, but I love my sweet baby.  (All of you doubters out there are most likely asking yourself right now, oh yeah, how do you know she is getting sentimental?  Well, I'll tell you.  Kylee leans against the wall, and makes little ohhh's and ahhh's and says, "Woody" and "Mommy" during the entire scene.)

So, Lo has turned me onto some other blogs lately, and I have been wasting spending a lot of time on them.  They have inspired me to either a) get a bigger and better house, b) fix up this one or c) go back to bed.  Not sure.

MBFCW has arrived

I awoke to learn I had been bestowed with the honor of my very own tab at the top of the Phat Farm Wedding blog.  Holy schnikes!  This is beyond monumental.

You see, this blog currently has a mere four followers.  It plateaued sometime last fall, about one blog entry in.  I like to tell myself it has an underground following--people who read it but won't commit to following it.  So last night I was telling Lauren, "I guess I really only write it for you, if you think about it."  She said I needed to "promote" this blog.  I don't know what that means.  I figure those who want to read it will know about it and follow it.  I assume its contents are of interest to a very limited audience, ie., Lauren and Jesse's families and friends.  Still...I also always assumed they had more than a combined four friends.  Who knows.

So, in my always magnanimous spirit, I say to all you little blogs currently residing on the left side, not the top, of the Phat Farm blog--in yer face! keep aiming for bigger and better positioning!

The Farm

Lauren's last couple of blog posts have been about the Farm, and what, (or rather, who), brought her to the Farm, and her feelings about the Farm today.

I have never been to the Farm, but I know that my best friend's son enjoyed the Farm a lot with his grandfather when he was little, and my other best friend's daughter's day care visited the Farm once...I remember taking car seats over to the day care.

Anyway, for all of you city folks who have never traveled south of the Minnesota River, when you arrive in Dodge, you are seriously in a country abyss.  There are cornfields, soybean fields, running rabid dogs, two lane highways, an old memorial dedicated to a plowing contest http://www.historicmarkers.com/mn/84210-Plowville/, and wait for it...the Farm is located on a gravel road.  So leave that fancy BMW at home!

The local paper also regularly runs a gossip column dedicated to the goings on about town, stuff like, "Mary went and played Whist with Luverne on Sunday afternoon," "the Congregational church held its annual cookie sale which generated enough money to allow them to now install a new lightpost outside the front door," and "Meals-on-Wheels are getting complaints about excess oleo usage in their baked goods." This same paper also prints the weekly 911 calls and court reports, which are always ripe with little gems like, "a woman called and reported three eggs missing from her refrigerator" and "a man reported someone stole his cat for an hour but it has now returned." 

Also, just recently someone was critically injured when their car collided with a cow.  http://www.postbulletin.com/news/stories/display.php?id=1441283  Now, granted, this didn't happen in Dodge County, but the point is, it happened and was in the local paper, and it definitely could have happened near the Farm.

Additionally, Dodge Center was the epicenter of a good ol' cow rustling incident a couple of years back.  What?  You didn't know the word "rustling" was still part of the English lexicon?

I Used to Be Single

Today is my first official day alone with the kid since before last Christmas.  Avery returned to college and Scot and Hadley are back to work and school.  In testament to my mothering, Kylee has not asked for any of them yet today.  In fact, when she woke up, she yelled from her crib, MMMMMOOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYY."  Of course she did.

So we are on to Toy Story 3.  I really hate that Lotso and Big Baby.  And to top this merry morning off, the dog was stalking me and shivering.  I thought, poor puppy.  It is unusually cold this morning and I tend to forget you are only a mere five inches off the floor at any given time.  Then I discovered the real problem was he had thrown up.  In my bed.  I'm sure Scot fed him some Chinese food from last night.  And you know, he's a shih tzu so you'd think he could handle Asian food.

Today also marks 221 days until the wedding.  I know this because I read Jesse's blog.  Apparently Lauren is counting down the days for him.  Which may or may not be a good idea.  It kind of reminds me of that MTV show, "I Used to Be Fat".  The personal trainer always presents the overweight person a huge calendar marking the days off they have left to become skinny.  Maybe Jesse and Lauren have one of these in their kitchen?

Six degrees of separation--Lukas Haas and Jessie the Cowgirl

so incredibly awesome

For anyone out there who might be wondering...Toy Story and Toy Story 2 can easily be watched twice each, in the course of a morning.  And the best line is when Jessie, from Toy Story 2 says, about the Prospector, "he's never been opened--he's mint in the box."  Right on.

So, over on Phat Farm wedding, Lo has posted pics of the barn at the farm, and I must say, it looks fabulous in all its red glory.  I really love the fact that is an actual old barn, and not like a pole shed or something.  It also has an attached silo.  How cool is that?  Allow me to give you some perspective:  my husband used to work in the retaining wall business.  You know, pavers and blocks; stuff for patios and fancy driveways.  His second job in the industry was for a company that used to make silos, but due to the lack of silos being put up, the company transitioned the business to retaining walls.  According to my husband, who was the Marketing Manager and did all the advertising, the company now only builds one silo in the entire year.  This means the Cooper Farm is so retro, and so legit.  Word.

not so much

Anyway, has anyone seen the movie "Witness"?  The one with the little Amish boy with the huge ears and creepy eyes?  Well, in that movie there is a scene where the Amish community gather together and construct a barn, in its entirety, in a day.  The women serve food and merrily quilt along, and the men do the building.  Even though a barn isn't being built, I think this is what the farm may look like sometime this spring.  But without Harrison Ford.  And a madman with a gun.  Right?  Fingers crossed.

PS--the answer to this blog title, in two degrees, not six, is--Joan Cusack (Jessie the Cowgirl's voice)--to John Cusack (Joan's brother)--to Jeremy Piven (Mark in Say Anything)--to Lukas Haas (both Jeremy Piven and Lukas Haas are in Entourage)

sweatin' the dress

I've been pretty lazy these past few weeks.  Winter just seems to be dragging on.  But the Margarita mix from Williams-Sonoma that I received as a Christmas gift has made my days with the kid much more manageable.  I'm sorry, what?

Anyway, Lauren has been quite busy lately, with her new nanny baby and also with...sweatin' the wedding.

see how quickly things can go awry?  It's a slippery slope, man

You see, Lauren really cares about her friends, more than I care about mine, and she is having second thoughts about her bridesmaid dress choice.  She wants a dress that everyone is comfortable in, that everyone feels glorious and sexy in, and she wants it to be economical.

So, let's discuss, in my favorite format ever--bullet points!

• comfort--oh please.  I sent Lauren a link last night for an alternative bridesmaid dress.  She instantly rejected it, noting it was silk, and silk was "hot and uncomfortable."  I never knew this.  You know what's uncomfortable?  Polyester and poly-blends.  And itchy lace.  And sequins.  And the Phat wedding is taking place in August.  So anything Lo chooses outside these man-made assortments would be dandy, in my opinion.  Linen would be a lovely choice, but linen wrinkles.  Really bad.

• loving it--I have discussed this in a previous blog rant.  No one will ever wear it again so it doesn't matter.  Oh wait, I was on a wedding site last night and they advertised "bridesmaid separates".  You read that right!  You can wear the top to the office the next day, and with just the right sweater, you can tweak that shiny taffeta skirt into an outfit for church.

• price--the price of Lauren's current bridesmaid dress choice is really quite low, I think.  I suppose she could find six identical dresses in the same color cheaper at...well, um....well, I don't know.  But let's talk facts here.  Lauren just wants to be known as shrewdly thrifty, and since it's not her dime in this instance, I think she can succumb to allowing the friends that love her to buy the bridesmaid dress she really wants them to wear :)

Hair today

Jesse is growing a mustache.

I saw it over on Phat Farm Wedding.

Maybe it's because we live in Minnesota, and middle-aged Minnesotan men almost always grow facial hair in the winter.  I know because my pastor used to do it, as did my two high school science teachers...Hi Denny and Ed.  But those science teachers were also like real life Grizzly Adams types, and so maybe the call of the wild had more to do with it than the winter season...

Anyway, my own personal guess, (and since Jesse is really not middle-aged), is Jesse is doing it as his one last act of independence.  Kind of his one last acting out before he gets married to Lauren.  And if there was ever a time to act out, it would be now.

Also, I can't believe the Phat wedding is only eight months away!  That's less time than it takes to bake a baby!  It is coming up so fast.  I really hope Kylee is ready for her public debut by then.

I was just reading on Phat Farm Wedding how, before the proposal, Lauren sensed there was something in the air, and she was half way expecting Jesse to ask for her hand.  I never knew this!  I am intrigued beyond imagination because I just can't see Lauren knowing something this monumental and not beating it out of Jesse beforehand.

e-no

Ok, wow, I am behind on my blogging.  I think Lauren and Jesse have blogged like three or four times since I last did.

But now, you know, I have material to work with.

Lauren posed an interesting question on facebook yesterday.  I can't believe she even thought it, to say the least, typed it out, but she was casually wondering if an e-vite might be appropriate for her wedding.  And I use the word casually in the most literal sense.

Now, I'm going to assume she was super tired from her new nanny baby, or was simply overwhelmed with the process of selecting and ordering her invitations.  Or maybe she indulged in some ganja before she sat down to her computer.  I don't know...I just don't know.  I tossed and turned all night, and not just because I just saw Black Swan.