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Lately, Lauren has been bothering me to go out with her.  Or to come over to her house.  Or to chat online.  Or just drop Kylee somewhere and run over to Panera and have a pumpkin muffie with her.

Everyone who knows me knows I am fairly anti-social.  I just don't like people in general.  I am impatient, opinionated and stuck in my ways.  I like things done a certain way.  I do not suffer fools.

So, in that spirit, I have created a "Lauren and Jaime get-together" contract.

This is an agreement between me, (high-strung, "older" stay-at-home-mom) and you, (free-wheelin' single gal with tons of disposable income) regarding a social event.

Day and time:  it can't happen on a Saturday morning or anytime between 1 and 4 during the week.  Kylee naps.  And so do I.  It also can only last a maximum of 4 hours due to the fact that a) I get carsick, b) I get worn out, and c) whomever Kylee is with is about to lose it and choke Kylee, and I want Kylee to live

Dining options:  if our interlude includes a meal, none of the following restaurants are acceptable: any dive with red and white stripes on the table, any fast food place, any eatery with the word "Factory" in it

Conversation topics: shall be limited to the weather.  Touchy subjects: God, vaccinations, legacy acceptance rates at Ivy League colleges, moms who blog about mom things, the wedding, as my position was terminated last weekend by you

flagship store, obviously

Goodwill and ARC hunting:  whoever sees if first, gets it.  No running into store while I lock the car doors.  No price tag switching.  No lying so you can have it instead.  No saying, "oh, it's just a chip, we can glue it" or "no one has that, I have never seen that--ever!" because I know you're just lying

Electronic interactions:  no texting, no phone calls, no word processing, no beepers, no ipods, no walkie-talkies, no karaoke machines, no faxing.  And please, don't play SCVNGR and log into every place we stop so you can earn points

Repeat meetings:  If all goes well, we can meet again

Signed, ME______________YOU______________